The last few days have been a blur - my little girl has been spending time with a boy we have found for her and trying to make up her mind if this is indeed the person she wants to spend the rest of her life with. It hasn't been easy for her because of the excitement that her meetings with the boy have generated among my family members and Sudha's. People have been calling her late at night and asking her 'So have you made up your mind, whats the decision?'. It wasn't long before the poor girl began to wonder why she was feeling pressured to make up her mind! Last Sunday she called her Mum and burst out crying on the phone saying she doesn't want anybody calling her and pressurising her to make a decision!
It is only then I begin to empathise with a 22 year old trying to make sense of society and its insistence on how a Nair girl should be married off. Hats off to the kid for expressing herself in this manner because most girls before her would simply accept societal pressure and plump for the guy chosen for her. While that is the way I saw her outburst on the phone, her mother was not very pleased with her wanting to meet the boy a few more times before she would be anywhere near ready to say 'yes or 'no' - Sudha's contention being that society may misconstrue her daughter's need to meet several times before making up her mind - after all, most girls she knew of seemed to have to make up their minds about the man they will marry in the blink of an eye and that too immediately after the first and only meeting bewteen the two, often overseen by the elders! What is worse is that Ammu's guy seemed to give the green signal immediately after the first meeting with her while Ammu was not quite ready to wave the green flag!
To cut a long story short, after a few meetings in person, a couple of coffees and a lunch together, followed by several night-long online chat sessions with the boy she finally decided, 'yes' this will be the person she will marry. Ofcourse, this must be one of those strange Nair weddings because the parents of the bride-to-be haven't even seen the groom-to-be and we're talking about a wedding happening!! I guess it is a sign of the times - things are achanging about us and we had better embrace the change!
By this time next week we the parents of the bride-to-be would have met with the parents of the groom-to-be and worked out how we should proceed with the marriage plans. It is clear that there will have to be an engagement before the wedding because Ammu has her final semester to complete before she has her Masters in Clinical Psychology. Then there is the issue of Ashwin needing to find a way to get leave from his submarine training program to attend his sister's marriage - this would mean that the marriage will have to be fixed for an appropriate time taking this and other issues (conveniences of the groom's family) into consideration. Talking about my young lad I find he does'nt somehow relish the idea of somebody new coming into his sister's life - he prefers that his family stay just the four of us! Hopefully, his brother-in-law will win over him and make him understand that his sister needs a man in her life just as he will need a woman in his life - thats the way nature willed it to be!
It is only then I begin to empathise with a 22 year old trying to make sense of society and its insistence on how a Nair girl should be married off. Hats off to the kid for expressing herself in this manner because most girls before her would simply accept societal pressure and plump for the guy chosen for her. While that is the way I saw her outburst on the phone, her mother was not very pleased with her wanting to meet the boy a few more times before she would be anywhere near ready to say 'yes or 'no' - Sudha's contention being that society may misconstrue her daughter's need to meet several times before making up her mind - after all, most girls she knew of seemed to have to make up their minds about the man they will marry in the blink of an eye and that too immediately after the first and only meeting bewteen the two, often overseen by the elders! What is worse is that Ammu's guy seemed to give the green signal immediately after the first meeting with her while Ammu was not quite ready to wave the green flag!
To cut a long story short, after a few meetings in person, a couple of coffees and a lunch together, followed by several night-long online chat sessions with the boy she finally decided, 'yes' this will be the person she will marry. Ofcourse, this must be one of those strange Nair weddings because the parents of the bride-to-be haven't even seen the groom-to-be and we're talking about a wedding happening!! I guess it is a sign of the times - things are achanging about us and we had better embrace the change!
By this time next week we the parents of the bride-to-be would have met with the parents of the groom-to-be and worked out how we should proceed with the marriage plans. It is clear that there will have to be an engagement before the wedding because Ammu has her final semester to complete before she has her Masters in Clinical Psychology. Then there is the issue of Ashwin needing to find a way to get leave from his submarine training program to attend his sister's marriage - this would mean that the marriage will have to be fixed for an appropriate time taking this and other issues (conveniences of the groom's family) into consideration. Talking about my young lad I find he does'nt somehow relish the idea of somebody new coming into his sister's life - he prefers that his family stay just the four of us! Hopefully, his brother-in-law will win over him and make him understand that his sister needs a man in her life just as he will need a woman in his life - thats the way nature willed it to be!
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