Before Ammu's big day I would imagine how I would feel as I gave her hand away, I would imagine what I would say to Arun as I couched her hand in his and held their two hands together. I asked myself if it was going to be an emotionally draining moment when she got into that car and went away to Arun's ancestral home. To all those questions I seemed to answer myself with equanimity and tell myself 'its really no big deal', 'its just going to be another day in her life, why should these thoughts bother me'! Around me cousins asked me how I would feel when Ammu is married off and I would tell them the very same thing I felt within me. But I would also wonder why so many people want to know how I, as Ammu's father, would feel when she left home.
Then the day dawned, there were all these friends of Ammu crawling all over the house getting themselves ready for the occasion. Ammu herself was packed off with her soulmate Anam to the beauty parlour to get ready for her big occasion. She looked happy and quite confused at all the paraphernalia s
he needed to carry to the parlour - the jewelry, the hair clips and other accoutrement, her wedding saree, blouse, bangles, flowers for her hair and so many little things! Anam managed all that like she had done this kind of organising all her life! She infact is a young Muslim girl from Lucknow so there was no way she could have known about all the stuff that a Nair bride would require but she played her role with panache. Three hours and some minutes later the car entered the compound of Sudha's mother's home, people all around were in various states of getting ready, they all stopped in their tracks as the car made its way in. The front passenger door opened and Ammu emerged from the car looking oh so beautiful, all dressed in bridal finery and I took one look at her and my mouth went dry and I suddenly felt a tug on that heartstring, the eyes welled up but I could not be seen shedding a tear, so I held back. I was kind of numbed by the vision of my little girl emerging from a pupae read
y to fly away as a beautiful butterfly. It reminded me of a tatoo she surreptitiously got done some years ago on her right upper back - it featured this young girl fitted with butterfly wings and taking off. In a jiffy it was time for me to drive Ammu off to the mandapam in our car, soon Arun was ushered on stage by Ashwin and a bevy of young things bearing the traditional 'thaalam'. Ammu was then also ushered in onto the stage and the next thing I know I was giving her hand away to Arun. My mouth was still bone dry, I had been chewing on gum hoping to get the salivary glands to secrete but they too were numbed by the occasion it would seem and all that I could utter to the newly weds at the time was 'all the best to you both'! Farewell Molu!
